| Let your body sink into me, like your favorite memory |
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My problem with me is my problem with you.♥
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| life |
[Sunday
March 22nd, 2009
10:52pm] |
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is weird. i've been thinking about it a lot.
that &death.
i dunno man.
i miss maura.
&thinking that i'll never see her ever again is really shitty.
blah blah blah.
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| ew |
[Thursday
February 5th, 2009
12:04am] |
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i had a dream that i was spending time with joseph f weiss & i woke up in a panic & all sorts of furious because, per usual, he was trying to ruin my life. but at least in my dream he took it to a new venue. that being australia. but seriously. leave me alone.
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| i'm |
[Wednesday
January 14th, 2009
10:56pm] |
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chuuuuuuurstyyyyyyy
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| 2009 |
[Wednesday
January 7th, 2009
1:50am] |
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hello.
it is 2009.
this marks the NINTH year of this journal's existence. holy. shit.
i love brendan john coughlin & that's what's up. zee end.
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| thank you for making me see there's a life in me, it was dying to get out. |
[Monday
December 22nd, 2008
1:43am] |
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music |
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jets to brazil - sweet avenue |
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the boy in my life honestly makes me more happy than i thought i could be. we get into spats a lot, but they are usually quickly resolved & lead to progress. he gives me a feeling of home that i haven't had in a long, long time. this is the third night i haven't got to sleep in his arms in a row, which is the longest we've gone since we started spending time together. &i gotta say. it sucks. but i got to go to his family christmas party yesterday & it was really fabulous meeting his family & spending time with him. &we got to cuddle on a twin bed for a little while before we fell asleep. we're going back to boston tomorrow & i can't wait to get to sleep next to him. yes this is cheesy. oh well. i feel cheesy. i put together a little christmas package for him. nothing big. but it made me feel so good writing out a card & puttin all the cute little things i got him into a cute little bag. because he deserves many many great things. more great things than i can give him, but at the same time i am confident in saying that i am giving him all of me & i think that's the best thing i can give. i love him.
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| some beautiful bullshit i pretend to belong to |
[Sunday
December 14th, 2008
4:44pm] |
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music |
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kevine devine - keep ringing your bell |
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i hate when someone does something really shitty, (or continually does really shitty things?) & you call them out on it... &then somehow YOU end up feeling like the shitty person? right? how does that make sense? it's happened two nights in a row now. but in all sincerity i haven't done anything wrong. except care way too much. maybe that's an issue.
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| my boyfriend |
[Saturday
November 15th, 2008
8:01pm] |
thinks it's really funny to play mean tricks on me & give me anxiety attacks.
good stuff, right?
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| blah blah blah |
[Tuesday
November 11th, 2008
4:39pm] |
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i will shake this nonsense. i will shake this nonsense. i will shake this nonsense. keep repeating it.
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| happy |
[Tuesday
October 28th, 2008
8:16pm] |
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is the word. i enjoy it. blah blah blah.
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| haaaaaapppppy |
[Tuesday
October 21st, 2008
2:25am] |
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birffffday, fred. i love you. wish you were here. i'll raise my glass to yewwwwwwwwww.
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| waking up to the green of your eyes is something I'll get used to. |
[Wednesday
October 15th, 2008
9:15am] |
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I'm just so ridiculously stoked. I met someone whose company I completely enjoy. There are comparisons that could be drawn, but that's irrelevent. Just. Ah. The freckles. And the eyes. It's adorable. And whenever I wake up next to him I just start smiling. It's a weird feeling. But nice. He just kind of gets me. Most of the time. And he cracks me up. I dunno. I'm happy. On the straight and narrow, too. Whew.
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| lalala |
[Thursday
October 9th, 2008
10:40am] |
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music |
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pavement - elevate me later |
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almost out of the woods. Now there's just the matter of the people who think they know everything about me, but, as it goes. Don't know a goddamn thing.
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| by midnight |
[Wednesday
October 8th, 2008
4:19pm] |
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music |
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smoking popes - my lucky day |
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I am giving this until midnight to be resolved, and at that point I'm giving up. It's been four days of yesnoyesnononoyesno. &it's growing emotionally taxing. I guess I don't help myself by listening to the playlist I made for him over and over. I'd like a happy resolution but I'll take the shitty one if I have to. I don't care for wondering. This sucks.
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| &If it feels like your heart's dried up, I can relate to that. |
[Saturday
October 4th, 2008
10:50am] |
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music |
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nightmare of you |
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I have determined that I am incapable of normal, healthy, functional relationships with males. It's kind of ridiculous. There is a plethora of reasons, not the least of which being that I am a complete hypocrite. And I project. And create epic and ridiculous scenerios in my head. If someone really likes me, I find something wrong with them 99% of the time. I do things to push people away. And on the off-chance that the feeling is reciprocated on my end, I find ways to prove to myself that that person doesn't like me as much as I like them. And I become hypercritical and find examples of this. It's so childish. But that's just who I've become.
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| I have |
[Sunday
September 28th, 2008
11:58pm] |
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music |
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Apollo Sunshine |
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Been really happy lately.
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| Daniel Andriano always knows how to say what I'm thinking |
[Thursday
September 25th, 2008
5:43pm] |
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music |
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alkaline trio - do you wanna know |
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"My heart is ticking like a box, sent to me by annonymous. And now I'm scared to open it. I'm always blowin up to bits. I'm always running out of lines. Always running out of time."
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[Tuesday
September 23rd, 2008
12:00pm] |
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hey. I'm stoked!
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| is it possible for the world to look this way forever? |
[Monday
September 22nd, 2008
1:05pm] |
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I went on a date with a younger boy last night. That is the first time I have ever ever done that. But it was really nice and we accidentally funded a cult and walked through a park and I was nervous. It was nice to actually be excited to be around someone in that sense. I dunno. It was nice and he was nice. It feels good to be told I' beautiful. That is all, I suppose. Laugh it up john.
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| my friends always warned about living clichés |
[Monday
September 15th, 2008
3:09pm] |
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I may or may not be totally enamoured with someone who hasn't even texted me back in probably a month. Ugh. I just want him to be here, not 3,000 miles away. Fuck.
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alkalinerinnie's journal